Wednesday, March 28, 2012
“What's the deal with all the dumb-asses?”
Scholars have debated the “dumb-ass” equation for millenia. I believe it was Marcus Aurelius in the 4th Century, who first confronted this vexing issue with the grand statement, “...what a dumb-ass...is everyone a dumb-ass or something? ...what's the deal with all of these dumb-asses?”
Later in the 17th century, Descartes was known to ponder the dumb-ass issue with the now seminal philosophical statement, “I think, therefore most others don't think, therefore they are probably dumb-asses.” Later, the 19th century philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche noted profoundly that, "that which does not destroy me has the serious potential of making me a dumb-ass" thus leaving us all with an existential choice of either being destroyed or joining the ranks of dumb-asses. Dumb-asses have indeed been a pivotal part of each and every society, contributing their lack of purpose to humanity with that sense of overwhelming meaninglessness we have all come to appreciate as light entertainment or occasional horror (as in the idea of people voting for someone based on a hypnotic mantra, “Yes we can”).
Dumb-asses are a particularly relevant segment of the populations at K-mart and government offices. Many achieve high office and contribute to a sort of noble malaise so prevalent in the perennial dumb-ass paradigm.
Attempts have been made to confront the dumb-ass societal affliction with such statements as “don't be such a dumb-ass”.
Dumb-asses seem to manifest eternally. They in fact often serve a great purpose to society's well being by allowing us non dumb-asses to feign sympathy for their unique form of victim-hood. The huge sums of money spent by governments to lift people out of dumb-ass inspired inertia is the finest example of how dumb-asses can help one another (though screwing their societies thoroughly).
Remember, dumb-asses are just like you and me...except they're dumb-asses.
(For those on the left who may be reading this. It's light humor - don't be offended...again. Also, don't be a dumb-ass). Should "dumb-ass" be used with a hyphen?
